Some days it works, and some days it doesn't.  I can see where the "moments" are supposed to be in this play, then when I reach for them they feel just out of my grasp.  Ugh!  Three weeks from today we open this production... I haven't been able to make a full connection to the character as of yet.  I get glimpses but I really feel like I am "acting" rather than being.  I go back to all of my class exercises, but I still am missing the mark. 

Some days I get a line or two of dialogue to fit just right, and then it's gone.  The arc of the piece isn't quite an arc yet.  This is me rambling and feeling a little bit at loose ends.  Maybe it's that I don't want to really connect to Melissa and her manic behavior.  How can anyone "love" that person?  Or maybe I'm afraid that there are times I am just like Melissa.   What the hell am I talking about.... I don't know....  Fear. 

This is me being afraid of falling on my face in three weeks. Man, I hate when that happens.  Please don't let it happen.  I need the acting gods to shoot me something that makes the lightbulb go off and I see which direction I need to go in next.  Hopefully sooner rather than later.