There are so many really talented people out in the world that for one reason or another stopped pursuing their dream.... whatever that dream was. For some it was acting, for others it was music, for others it was... whatever. But life happens, families happen, choices are made, doors close, roads change, and then you find yourself with different friends, different experiences, a different life than what you had envisioned for yourself when you thought you could conquer the world. Worlds change.
I sit here thinking of all the really talented people who got off the road, names YOU will never know.... it was just too hard, it was taking too long, they couldn't catch a break, the auditions just stopped coming, we were getting older. The rejection can be crushing if you don't develop a thick skin. But if you develop a thick skin that is counter to trying to stay open to your emotional life... Ah, incongruity.
So why do we do it... for me, it's because I can communicate better, clearer, and stronger when I do it through someone else's words. I can find the emotional life of a character, envelop it, and breathe life into it. I do it.......because I have to do it. I forgot how much it changes my real life, how parts of my life fall to the side. Choices. I choose this.
My mother had wanted to be an Opera singer. Her dream died an early death, like she did. That comes back to me now.. the "what ifs." An actor acts... doesn't matter where, doesn't matter when. Someone said I must be nervous getting back on stage after twenty years. I thought about it, my first guarded response was "yes." But that was a lie. I'm not nervous I feel like a race horse in the gate, just waiting... and waiting...and waiting... I know what to do, I know how to do it, I trained for this..... soon, very soon.
This will be for everybody who chose a different path.